One Star, Would Not Buy Again

The diverse perspectives on diverse products in the reviews we use to buy online.

It’s true that everyone has different perspectives, but nothing does a better job of representing this fact than online products and their reviews. From the durability of shoes to the questionable taste of shrimp, people bestow items with a rating of one to five stars to indicate their satisfaction, and often, one’s level of satisfaction stems from expectations rather than the actual quality of the product.

A scarf listed on Amazon titled Kama Bridal Long Faux Fur Shawl/ Scarf had mixed reviews when it came to its texture. While one five-star review stated, “This is a wonderful faux fur shawl. It is soft, warm, and beautiful,” others were more critical. A particular buyer said, with assumed vehemence, “This thing feels like a dry dead animal skin on your shoulders. That’s the simplest way I can put it.” The product pulled an overall rating of 4.5 stars. While the two reviewers presumably received the same product, it’s entirely plausible that their expectations for the scarf differed – one finding it satisfactory, while the other found it anything but, revealing their perspectives.

Some people felt similarly upset over the quality of a pair of shoes listed on Amazon as Rocket Dog Women’s Diver Webbing Wedge Flip-Flop. One reviewer, infuriated over the sandal strap breaking, stated, “The absolute last straw! Back to Hades where they originated from,” with one shining star. Meanwhile, a different review of the same product said, very simply, “They are pretty durable & very easy to walk in,” which sounds drastically different from the pair of sandals that originated from Hades. Perhaps the first reviewer was using their sandals for extraordinary means, but we’ll never know. It received an average of four stars.

Whole Catch, Key West Pink Shrimp 12 Ounce (Frozen) on Amazon was another highly debated item. While a pleased reviewer said, “These shrimp are great, flavorful, and really easy to cook with,” the shrimp were apparently not all they seem. Another review titled Are these real shrimp? said, “These little guys have a weird texture, as if you are biting through a little batch of plastic or acrylic and almost zero shrimp flavor.” This begins to beg the question: Are fraudulent shrimp on the rise? However, the drastic difference between these two reviews may simply be explained by a difference in opinion of how shrimp should taste.

Comments began really heating up at The 2009-2014 Outlook For Wood Toilet Seats In Greater China (Paperback). A five-star review stated, “My two-year-old daughter was growing tired of the usual bedtime books. … We both knew we needed a radical departure from our typical routine or bedtime would soon become a bitter battle. Riding in on a white horse was China Wood Toilet 2009-2014. We stayed up all night to complete 2009-2010, and it didn’t disappoint!” However, another reviewer (perhaps unaided by the inquisitive mind of a child), gave a scathing and frankly brutal review. They stated, “This is a captivating narrative, however wooden. The author needs to seriously spruce up his writing. I pine for his editor. The poor writing probably drove him up a tree.” The 2009-2014 Outlook For Wood Toilet Seats In Greater China is no longer available on Amazon, though whether that can be attributed to the scathing reviews it received or the fact that its information is now obsolete, we will never know.

Finally, Tuscan Dairy Whole Vitamin D Milk, Gallon perfectly represented how something as simple as milk can be regarded with vast differences. A one-star review said, “Tuscan Whole Milk is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of white.” This devastating review is balanced out with the pure joy another reviewer felt when they gave five stars. This reviewer was so inspired that they said, “ACT I / SCENE I. Athens. The palace of THESEUS. / Enter THESEUS, HIPPOLYTA, PHILOSTRATE, and Attendants …” and the entire rest of the play that would fit within Amazon’s word count allowance. The only explanation for these two reviewers must have had differing perspectives, given the range of their reactions.

Review sections for products are not only a place for one to express their opinion of their purchase, but also a place for creativity to flourish. Take the format and run with it. We want to know what YOU think, dear reader! Rate this article below.

By Theodore Hennings

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