Lost in our Language

The complexities of the words we use to define ourselves and the world around us.

Are you a feminist? This seemingly simple yes-or-no question can elicit different responses depending on the person asked, and what their understanding and experience of feminism has been.

In a 2020 study through the Pew Research Center, 61 percent of American women and 40 percent of American men said that “feminist” describes them somewhat or very well. Meanwhile, nearly 80 percent of Americans said that gender equality is important. So although one might equate valuing gender equality with feminism, clearly many of those polled were comfortable with the idea but not the label of “feminist.” 

Some people believe in a version of feminist ideas but reject the label. What about those who believe gender equality is important, yet don’t feel like “feminist” describes them?

The answer does not necessarily lie in the beliefs held by an individual, but in their understanding of what certain words like feminism mean. And this issue is not limited to the topic of feminism. Beyond the definition of a word, language shapes our understanding of issues. How words are used in the media, in conversations, and online has implications for what we end up understanding, and how we go about applying that understanding in the real world. Language can distort peoples’ understandings of critical issues, preventing them from learning more, but it is also key to fostering communication and building empathy.

From Dictionaries to Reality

So where do our understandings of these topics diverge? Sometimes, it’s cultural. The dictionary definitions can stay the same, but the conversations we have about a topic are different depending on where the conversation is taking place.

What one is told a word or concept means has a lot of influence. If someone grows up hearing that feminism is about hating men and that feminists are evil, they won’t even understand the basic meaning of the word and the movement it represents. 

Opposition to feminism exists in many forms, and many barriers stand in the way of gender equality. But if we can at least bridge the understanding of the words we use, could it lead to more support for the issues themselves? 

Dr. Johnny Lake, a professor of education and counseling at the University of Oregon and a widely recognized speaker and adviser on race and culture, is the mentor for the Equity Youth Educators club here at South. I spoke with him about the importance of language in how we interact with the problems we confront in everyday life.

“Language is a shorthand for reality,” he said, suggesting that the way someone speaks is reflective of their experiences, beliefs, and relationships with other people, as well as the lenses through which they see the world. 

“The language that we use to describe other human beings is rarely neutral,” he continued. “You have to be suspicious of language and how it is used to describe other human beings.”

In terms of what leads to meaningful conversation, Lake said that honesty is critical in having productive discussions. 

“If we can’t be honest, we can’t do this work,” he often tells the groups he works with.

Roots of Our Language

But where does our language come from? Language deeply affects the way we grow up, the way we come to understand the world around us, and the way we build relationships with others. For more insight on language and its uses, I interviewed Madison Billings, an English teacher at South. 

“Language always sends these incredibly subtle implicit messages,” Billings said. 

She spoke specifically about how much language can impact children. 

“Children are absorbing adults’ language, whether you’re talking to them or not,” she explained. Even when we don’t intend to influence others around us, the language we use can do just that.

Billings also talked about the significant influence of language used in online content, including online education classes and social media. 

“It has created a global language,” she said, describing the more widespread connection and the speed of connection. However, when education moves online, understanding may be unchecked. 

Due to the quick consumption of online content, Billings suggested that “we don’t even digest the things that we are reading.” This leads to superficial exposure to a vast amount of content and information that may not lead to a truly deep understanding of the issues.

“We’re entering into conversations too quickly, without establishing our own thoughts and ideas,” she said. That leads to reactiveness, with people jumping to the defensive, an issue that social media “fosters and nurtures.”

“Language has such a powerful effect, even if you’re not trying,” Billings said. “The language that you use helps perpetuate society as it is.”

She gave the example of saying “fireman” versus “firefighter.” Fireman gives the implication that the job is only for men, but the gender-neutral term firefighter offers a job that anyone can have. When talking to her kids, she is careful with her word choice, like with saying firefighter or police officer.

“We just have to be very mindful about those implicit messages that get sent,” Billings concluded. 

With the power that language holds and the messages sent by even the subtlest shifts in words, it’s important to understand the origins of language and the true meanings of the words we use every day. 

Feminism

Going back to the example of feminism, it is helpful to look at the origins of the word.

French philosopher Charles Fourier first used the word in 1837. The term at the time was used to describe “feminine qualities or character,” but by the late 19th century came to be associated with gender equality.

Despite the relative novelty of the term as we know it today, the ideas that feminism upholds are nothing new. From Sappho to Mary Wollstonecraft to Betty Friedan, the so-often suppressed thoughts of women have been immortalized in literature throughout millennia. 

In her 1847 novel Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë wrote, “Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts as much as their brothers do;”

The novelty of feminism is not in the idea itself but in the word used to describe it. And this is where a lot of the controversy and confusion around feminism stems from. Despite the fact that feminism has a seemingly simple definition, cultural beliefs have diverged from what the dictionary says, leading to conflict and movements against feminism.

Two people could have a heated conversation about feminism, and if they didn’t bother to compare definitions, could go through the discussion thinking they disagreed while they actually felt the same way about the subject.

Importance of Conversation

Beyond the impact of language in education and online content, it is also critical to understand how language is used in conversations between people. To learn about the perspectives of others, Lake said that people need “interactions with other people who are different than themselves.”

Lake talked explicitly about the concept that people need to engage with and learn from people who are different from themselves in order to grow their understanding and maybe even change the language that they use. This is true for conversations about race, as well as other topics.

“Men need to have more understanding about what women experience every day; straight people need to understand more about what gay and lesbian and sexual minority people experience every day; people who are able need to have some friends who are disabled, hang out with them, see what they go through every day,” he said.

Taking the time to think about language and the words we use can pave the way to more open and honest relationships. For meaningful conversation, Billings said that “coming in with an open mind” is important. Learning from others about how they approach the world will create pathways to be more engaged and empathetic. 

Learning From and Listening to Others

There is beauty in language, but there is also a danger in using it carelessly. When we don’t think about the words we use, we often neglect to dig into the deeper meanings of certain terms or the consequences of how we use them. That depth is what leads to powerful and nuanced conversations which are so important for building connections. Common language is not enough: having a mutual understanding of what that language means is when conversation can really become productive. 

I asked both Lake and Billings about what they would suggest for people who want to think about the language they use, learn about others, and have more open, honest conversations.

“Our society has maintained its privileges typically through separation,” Lake replied, talking again about the importance of being around people with different perspectives from your own. 

Similarly, Billings spoke about how reading can help broaden your mindset, open doors, and expose you to different types of language.

As for reading recommendations, they both had many suggestions. 

“James Baldwin is one of the most amazing writers on the racial environment of America,” Lake said. He also recommended reading works by bell hooks and Whiteness of a Different Color by Matthew Frye Jacobson, a book about the concept of whiteness and the fluidity of racial categories.

Billings recommended Virginia Woolf, the early 20th century author of A Room of One’s Own, Mrs. Dalloway, and many other novels and essays. 

“She does so much with language and the shifting around of language and the impact that language can have,” Billings said. Woolf’s writing shows “what language can do” and “the power that language can have.” 

Ultimately, both Lake and Billings emphasized the importance of exposing ourselves to new and powerful language by seeking it out in books. Encountering language that challenges us and broadens our views of the world can build our understanding and compassion.

“If we all read, we would just all be better people,” Billings said. “Reading is the number one thing that we can do to help grow a more caring and understanding humanity.”

There are many things we can do to deepen our understanding of how language impacts our understanding of the world around us. Reading books and watching movies that reflect cultures other than our own, listening to others, and seeking out opportunities for conversations with diverse groups of people who share different viewpoints. Perhaps most importantly, questioning our own understanding of the words we hear and understanding the context and culture around them. 

By Aria Lynn-Skov

Full magazine PDF here: